30 Day Challenge - Day 17

Day 17: Your highs and lows of the past year.

Well, I'm going to do the highs and lows of 2015, since it's the closest "full/complete" year.

My highs:

• We got through two years of marriage, my husband and I, and for that I'm grateful.
• Honey has transitioned pretty well from outside dog to inside dog and she's definitely less scared of us than she was before.
• Charlie loves the kennel and we have thus named it the "Puppy Cave" - it's basically the only place in the house he'll sleep (though, it makes it easy to find him).
• Started getting treatment for my sleeping issues - learned I don't have sleep apnea, and not really insomnia, so that's wonderful news.
• I got coloring books for Christmas, which is good for me and my anxiety! :D
• I got two new nieces this year. Little Raven-Bird and Liyah-lay. Love them both.
• We got a horse. O__O Yeah... I've always wanted one, but I didn't mean while we lived in this little town with not enough land to feed her. (Thank goodness for in-laws)
• We got our own house. XD This one is HUGE for us. How could I forget this?
• Hubby got in a wreck but survived with bruises and some torn muscles. 
• Went to another RenFaire this year. Love these things!
• Made it two years with my wonderful husband; here's to a hundred more.

My lows: Huh... Which of these can I share without giving anything to fuel fires? Probably not a lot, but I'll share what I can.

• It feels as if my sleep doctor does not care that the medication she's put me on makes me more tired when I wake up, which could cause problems during my job or even driving to my job.
• I accidently blew a hole in our wall with my .380 (though, I did manage a pretty awesome trick shot that I'll never be able to do again in a million years).
• This was the year I attempted to slice my toe off with a sword in the middle of the night, attempting to avoid a dog in the dark. :I Yeah, that was fun and bloody and painful...
• Hubby and I got into a serious fight. Our first big one? (Probably the biggest we've ever had to be sure.) Hurt like a bitch.
• My husband got in a wreck and totaled our first vehicle.
• I couldn't finish my "Crochet Advent Calendar" and I couldn't even bring myself to care... :I Mostly because I'm pretty sure no one else did.

Some neutral thoughts? (Wasn't part of the "prompt", but they're fun for me and I thought I'd share.)

• I tend to get into depressive slumps and often have the urge to write. But, when I do, I tend to project my feelings into my characters. For instance, Trevor (a beloved were-tiger, thing) from my novella Athena shares these bouts and attempted suicide. I wrote a short story about his near-death and once I did, I felt tons better. No clue why, but it's happened multiple times. Not gonna look too much into it, just run with it. I kill off characters to make myself feel better.
• Watched a tv show about black holes and white holes. Black holes suck things in and white holes spit things out. I, the nerd I am, immediately thought of portals. My thought was, of course, instantly confirmed when a scientist said that things could be sucked in through a black hole and spit back out by a white hole - Now that's thinking with Portals!

More highs than lows, which is always a good thing, of course. I, of course, expect 2016 to be much better. Things get better with time, so I'm excited to see what this year brings.

30 Day Challenge - Day 14

Day 14: Your earliest memory.

Hmm, this one is sort of hard, just because it changes quite a bit.

The earliest thing that I can remember is standing in my playpen, I think in my grandparents house, or in the apartment we lived in while we were in Colorado. Of course, I don't remember any of my time in Colorado, though I do think I remember the flight from CO to Germany. Maybe...

I do remember the flight from Germany to Tx, though, and that was great. It was one of the last times a parent could take their child to the cockpit and talk to the pilots. That's highly illegal now, but I got a candy cane from the flight attendant, the pilots, and even got a pair of wings from the pilots (a silly little pin, that I sorely wish I still had).



Updated my blog a little to reflect my "new" found thrills. I recently got into Supernatural and Doctor Who this past year and have been trying to catch up. It's hard, but I definitely do love the shows. And of course, you can't have the other two without Sherlock. If you check out Kota's Crochet Creations you'll see that I've sort of done the same there. Thought it would be far more fitting than my other backgrounds. :)

Until next week, my friends.

30 Day Challenge - Day 13

Day 13: Somewhere you'd like to move or visit.

Oh, I don't know where I'd want to move though it probably wouldn't be out of Texas mostly because I love this state. Where else can you say you drove nearly 12 hours and you haven't left your state yet? Maybe Californa? Plus, I'm sort of used to this climate already and would hate to adjust to a warmer/colder climate if we move. Though, inside of Texas? Out of this town and into another small one. I love the small town feel, just perhaps with few relatives. :P Not that I don't love my in-laws, I'd just like to be a little farther away from them. Definitely someplace with lots of land where I can own 3-4 dogs and a horse or two with no issues on home size or yard size. Now that would be a dream.

Places I want to visit, now that's a long list. I want to visit a great many places in Europe, just to do the "tourist" thing. Plus, I have made several friends all over the place and it would be great to see them again. Wales, Scotland, Australia, Columbia... It would be so much fun.
Of course, there is the standard "I want to visit Disney World/Land," which is true, because I went to Orlando once and didn't get to vist the whole park. I'd like to go back for about a week or so and just party with my hubby. Or go visit a ranch up in Colorado where we can ride all day long without any worries. Though, we'd have to have a few dog friendly places to take our "kids" with us. I could go on and on, mainly because I dream of traveling, though don't know if I'll ever get around to it. Maybe my darlin' dear and I will be one of those older couples who just travel when they retire. That sounds like fun to me.

--

So... It's been a super long time since I actually posted anything here and I just want to say I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. In the past year or so, we've moved, struggled with bills, and finally got internet access again. I hope to write at least once a week and continue with my 30 Day Challenge, even if it's just for myself. I'll probably throw in a few other writings now and again to spice it up.

For those who do read this, I thank you. I hope you enjoy and I look forward to seeing you again. :)

30 Day Challenge - Day 12

Day 12: Bullet your whole day.

Man, I wish this had fallen on a day that I was teaching or something. A Saturday, though? Not much going on here. Here is my day so far:

• 540 am - Took puppies outside. Also let Lady out. Left them out there.
• 936 am - Got up to eat breakfast with family.
• 940-1045 am - Ate breakfast and chatted with family.
• 1050 am-1245 pm - Did a bit of cleaning up- and downstairs. Organized stuff mostly
• 1250-121 pm - Reading Narcissus in Chains by Laurell K. Hamilton

Everything below this line is in no particular order:

• Clean a little more
• Continue reading
• Feed all 8 dogs (4 of which are in search of a good home - the puppies can leave in two weeks)
• Make sure the dogs have water
• Straighten various rooms
• Perhaps shower (dunno 'bout this, not going anywhere and I did shower last night)
• Check email for information about subbing a 100 or more times
• Watch the marathon of "The Simpsons" with my husband (his favorite show)
• Maybe crochet some more Christmas stuff for my Advent Calendar
• Maybe write/work on my novel
• Maybe give puppies a bath

Well, that's about it. Not a whole lot going on today. I did leave off some of the various nit-picky things such as bathroom breaks, brushing teeth, brushing hair, etc. since they don't really need to be added. Fun fun.

Almost half way done with my 30 Day Challenge. Proud of myself that I've kept going even after that ridiculous break there. Oh well, at least I'm working on it!

30 Day Challenge - Day 11

Day 11: Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.

Song 1: Beer in Mexico by Kenny Chesney
Song 2: Ava Maria by Celtic Woman
Song 3:  Sunshine on my Shoulder's by John Denver
Song 4: Animal by Neon Trees
Song 5: Hymn to the Sea by James Horner - I played this song for my aunt and uncle's wedding.
Song 6: What Kinda Gone by Chris Cagle
Song 7: The Lion Sleeps Tonight by InsideOut
Song 8: Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me by Terri Clark
Song 9: The World is Ours by David Correy
Song 10: Cowboy Casanova by Carrie Underwood

Well this was a short post. Not sure what I'm supposed to do with the songs or what they're supposed to mean. I do listen to a wide variety of music, though most of what is on my iPod/iTunes is Country.

Hmm... Feeling a bit lost of words for here. I'm sure tomorrow's prompt will be a bit more exciting. If not, I'll add something for the fun of it.

30 Day Challenge - Day 9

Day 9: How you hope your future will be like. (I'm on a roll!)

I want my future to be happy, filled with laughter, love, and family. I want to be working with kids (High School preferably). I want to be with my husband and maybe a few kids. I want to be surrounded by fur-children. I want to be on a ranch, own a horse or two, and be content with my life. I want to be published, I want to have a least one book under my name (or pen name, either works for me).

There isn't a lot to this one. I don't know what else to say. I just want to be happy. I want to be surrounded by the people I love, by the people who love me, doing what I love. I don't necessarily want things in my future. Yeah, a two-story house with a ton of land would be great, but I don't need those to be happy. I'd be happy in a two bedroom house with a decent yard for at least one dog.

Kids are a touchy topic right now. We have a live-in niece (who is actually moving out) and a niece and nephew who come to visit during the summer and I love them, but, while I know it's different when they're my own, they've sort of ruined having kids of our own for us. At least for a few years until we can settle down and be comfortable with our lives.

I hope my future is happy and bright, simple as that.

30 Day Challenge - Day 8

Day 8: A moment you felt most satisfied with your life.

When I finally graduated college this year, I think that is the moment in my life I was most satisfied. I had finally gotten through six years of classes, teachers, assignments, failures, and bad French. It was over and I could now start on my second path towards becoming a teacher.

I also created my own outfit for that day too, which sounds a tad odd, I guess. I'm not the best with style and body image, so the fact that I threw together a great outfit for my graduation (though it was hidden beneath my gown) was a big moment for me. Something to look forward to when I start teaching.

I know I keep bringing the subject of me graduating up, but it really is a huge milestone in my life. It's not something I thought I was actually going to be able to achieve when I first started back in the Fall of 2008, but I did; I made it all the way through and have that degree in my hand.
Secondly, I am the first, and currently only, one in my family to have actually graduated from a college. Mom and Dad have taken college course and have some college credit (for whatever jobs they've got), but they haven't graduated. In fact, I don't think either of them went to college period. My younger brother was going to go, but then Denton (University of North Texas) screwed him over with "We don't have anywhere for the incoming freshmen to live on campus... Uh, sorry?" {So, if you're reading this and thinking about going to UNT, think real hard about it. A friend of mine went there for a YEAR'S WORTH OF CLASSES and the next Fall they couldn't find record of him attending. Yeah... Two strikes for that crap college.}

So, the most satisfying moment in my life is graduating college and getting my degree. I'm on my way to bigger and better things, y'all!

30 Day Challenge - Day 6

Bright and early for today! (It was 8:45 am when I started this post...)

Day 6: Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.

Hmm, this is going to be an interesting one, mainly because I'm not sure I can come up with 30. I'll try though!

1. I was born at Evans Hospital in Fort Carson, Colorado.
2. I played flute from 6th grade to my senior year.
3. I own a crochet business called Kota's Crochet Creations.
4. I graduated May 10, 2014 from Angelo State University with my BA in English.
5. I was married on May 25, 2013 to my darling husband.
6. I have three fur-"children" whom I love very much: Honey, Charlie, and Lady (all GSDs).
7. I am attending online classes this fall through Texas Teachers to get my teaching certification.
8. Born with blonde hair and blue eyes, I've mellowed out to a dirty blonde with sea-green eyes.
9. I've been working on my novel Always for Eternity for longer than I'd like to admit.
10. I want to visit Europe and even see Alaska (but not live there... Too cold).
11. I am the oldest of two kids, but the shortest in my family.
12. I have a lot of "adopted" family - several moms, dads, and plenty of siblings.
13. I can't eat a lot of food, due to a texture problem (such as lasagna, potato salad, and more).
14. I have psoriasis, but I don't care - it doesn't bother me.
15. Colorado, Wyoming, Louisiana, Washington D.C., New Mexico, Missouri, Oklahoma, Florida, and Kansas are all places I have visited, if briefly.
16. I'm a chocoholic; I constantly crave chocolate and want to eat it all.
17. I haven't really ridden a horse since my accident two summers ago (I was bucked off and twisted my knee something fierce).
18. I still watch "kid shows" like: My Little Pony, Kung Fu Panda, and various other shows (I can't think of any more right now).
19. I will never stop watching Disney, Dream Works, or Pixar movies.
20. I didn't jump on the SuperWhoLock band wagon until the shows were several seasons in. Working on watching all the seasons.
21. I love to read. In fact, I've had to up my Goodreads Challenge from 20 to 40!
22. Speaking of reading, I have a mini library of my own (which my husband is dreading having to move around).
23. I am part of the rare group that doesn't own a Smart Phone. I own several Smart Devices (iPad, iPod), but no Smart Phone.
24. I used to HATE carrying a purse around and only wanted carry a wallet. Sometime in college, I knew I had to carry a purse (plus, I can carry a book all the time with me now).
25. Coloring books are totally awesome. I still get excited about coloring.
26. I've read the Fifty Shades series and laugh when I know it's simply a Twilight fan fiction. Ain't it great?
27. I draw on occasion and have gotten relatively good, though it's more heads than anything.
28. I only like the red and green Haribo Gummy Bears. I'll eat them all, but I only really like the red and green ones.
29. I start subbing soon, hopefully, and I'll be on my way to a teacher within the next year!
30. I have sleeping problems, so most of the time (if I'm not busy), all I want to do is nap all day.

This list took me way longer than I thought it would, but I got it all done! 30 fun facts about me!

If you have any questions, or would like to know more about one of the thirty, feel free to ask. I'd love to answer your questions. :D

30 Day Challenge - Day 5

I'm such a terrible slacker and I know it. It's been nearly a month since I last wrote and that's terrible. I got back from my 3-week vacation and decided that I just didn't want to bother with it. And then that couple of days to myself turned into weeks cleaning and working on our house so that it could be rented out to a brother-in-law by next week and blah blah blah. So, we'll skip all my excuses and move on with the actual challenge for today.

Day 5: A time you thought about ending your own life.

Well, let's talk about a dark topic, shall we?

If I were to be brutally honest... Yes. Multiple times. But, I can't, or won't, take your pick, because I am a coward. I can't even bear the thought of hurting myself on purpose for any reason. It would hurt too much, I can't stand the sight of lots of blood or even talk about it sometimes.

When have I felt these moments? Well, due to my odd mix of anxiety and rare spurts of depression, only on rare occasion when I felt I've done something wrong, when my husband and in-laws fight, when I feel at my lowest (which is actually more often than I'd like to admit), etc. Hmm, maybe I shouldn't say rare occasion. I feel depressed several times a month, though I don't think about ending it unless I've gone down as far as I can go.

Besides being a coward, I don't end it because I actually have a lot I want to do with my life. I want to be an author, I want to teach and inspire kids, I want to ride horses on the beach or on our ranch property, I want to travel the world, so on and so forth. I want to do so much, so I wouldn't end it all before I could do any of those things.

Depression, anxiety, thoughts of suicide aren't things to take lightly. I know I need help and, as soon as I get on some good health insurance and can afford it, I will find a counselor and a doctor who can help me deal with my problems. Yeah, that probably means taking medication, but if it will help me look at my life a little better, than I'm all for it.
So, if someone in your life is experiencing these thoughts, listen to them. Offer help if they want it, but don't force it. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to listen. For me, that's all I need most of the time is a shoulder to cry on and pat me saying, "It'll be alright. I'm here for you."
If you, yourself, are thinking about ending it, find someone to talk to before you go. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a good place to call or chat online. Google it, there are lots of sites that can be helpful. Heck, send me an email and I'd be glad to talk to you, so long as you keep living for something. Every life is precious.

(AFTERTHOUGHT: Robert Williams died of suicide, and I hadn't thought about it until after I finished this.)

30 Day Challenge - Day 4

Day 4: Your views on religion.

Wow... This challenge is rather controversial, ain't it? Views on all sorts of different things. Hmm, oh well. Without further ado, let's get this started.

My view on religion is sort of hard. I'm not an Atheist, but I'm not interested in religion as a whole. I believe in God, or a higher power if you like, but I hate attending services and Sunday School and partaking in communion and what-not. I find it tedious and boring, all of it. I wouldn't switch religions for the life of me, and I never force my religion down anyone's throat (be it in person by insisting I tell someone about my God or filling Facebook with religious photos saying "If you love God, share and like" or some nonsense like that). I have done it before, but have stopped since I got in college (and off MySpace).

I consider myself a Methodist, as I have been (more or less) since my family moved to Cove. (I may have been baptized Catholic, since Dad and his family are Catholic, but I can't say for sure.) I used to enjoy going to Sunday School and Youth Group, though service on Sunday was never my thing. Heck, I used to even play my flute in the Praise Band that started while I was in High School, though that excitement was short lived: it got boring real fast. Not enough of a challenge for me (since I made up my own music, where there was not sheet music for me, which changed every time we played), and regular services were dull. We had a preacher for 13 years and his sermons were always the same every year, without change. Ugh.

Let's get back on topic, shall we? My view on religion. I have no real love for it, at least not now. I may hop back on the "bandwagon" when we have kids, but right now I find it boring. Though, just because I'm not fond of it, doesn't mean I think it should be shoved down the throats of others (no matter what your religion is) nor do I think it should be taken away from those who want to practice it. Hell, if children in school want to pray or create a group and use the school as a meeting place, then let them. Only worry about it if they're trying to shove it down people's throats and force it upon others. Or if it's harmful to the others in a way that is physical.

Ugh, I can't even... Look, I'll keep it simple. You have your religion (or lack-there-of) and I have mine. If you want a friendly talk about it, sure I'll jump in. If you're going to be rude about it and try and shove it down my throat or tell me that my religion is "wrong," then just go away. I don't want to hear it. We all have our own religion and I don't need yours shoved in places it doesn't need to be.

30 Day Challenge - Day 3

Day 3: Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Hmm, that's quite a question there. I'm going to split these up, since I don't think they should just be bundled together as one topic.

DRUGS: Unless they're prescription, don't do them. Over the counter stuff for colds, allergies, common stuff, etc., fine. I suppose that's okay. If they're illegal or you know that you're probably not supposed to be doing them, DON'T. Marijuana? Ugh, there are so many things wrong with this product. A handful of States have legalized it, so if you want to do it, do it there. Sure, Congress could legalize it through out the entire United States, tax the hell out of it, and we'd get rid of some of that debt. I don't do drugs; hell, I don't even smoke. The smoke from cigarettes makes me sick to my stomach, and mother is allergic to it so there is a good possibility that I could be as well. (Thank god my husband doesn't smoke. He quit years before we got together and only smokes cigars when he's stressed and far away from me.) If you want to get high, there are safer ways to do it. Probably cheaper too, but I can't confirm that.

ALCOHOL: This one's a bit muddier. I like to drink, on occasion, but never enough to get myself drunk, shitfaced, or to the point of blacking out. I have also never drank so much alcohol that I have even been considered "drunk". Mostly because I don't drink much. But if you're known to drink and get stupid drunk or are an alcoholic, then that seems simple. You don't get any. It's fine in moderation, but as soon as it gets out of hand, it's stupid and the drinker needs to be cut off. And drinking and driving, no. Too many people get killed or hurt because someone drank too much.
I also think that mixing your drinks with caffeine isn't a good ideal, nor doing drugs while drinking (prescription or otherwise). Alcohol is crap for your body, don't make it worse by trying to add drugs on top of that. You may not feel the effects of what's going on, but you will when you're sober.

Ugh... I look at this reply/thought topic and frown at it. I don't like it in the least but, my brain won't let me find the words that I really should use, the words I probably should say.
This isn't an invitation for you to start yelling at me or debating with me about my ideal of politics because well, I'm not entirely too sure where I stand on the current issues lately due to travel and school and various other things. If you have a comment, and can say it without sounding rude, feel free to chat with me about it.

30-Day Challenge - Day 2

Challenge for Day 2: Where would you like to be in 10 years?

Honestly, I haven't even thought about it. I rarely think about what I'm going to be doing in 1 year, let alone 10. Things like that cause my anxiety to spike and the depression hits when I don't realize my goals and blah, blah, blah. So, I try and take things one day at a time so that I can keep myself whole and healthy. But, I do have goals, so this really isn't a stretch.

But, since I'm taking this challenge, I'll give it a try. In 10 years, I'd like to have most (if not all) of my student debt paid off, working at a school where I'll be teaching English (maybe AP if I'm lucky), living in a house we own with my husband, maybe a kid or two (though, maybe just one), playing with my fur-children, and crocheting like a mad woman.

If you haven't watched Randy Pausch's The Last Lecture or haven't read his book (they're about the same, though both good to have), then I urge you to do so. I have read the book many times and watch the video over and over again. I have an entire list of things of things I want to do. I used to have them written down (and still might, just need to find them), and I will eventually get around to them. I want to travel to Europe, live a two story house with a huge yard (which is sorta true as of right now, though it's not ours), own a horse and ride every day, and so much more. I don't think I'll get around to doing those things in 10 years, but that's cool. I don't care when they happen, I just want them to come true one day.

Tomorrow's challenge might be a little hard to complete because I'm headed off to the Ft. Worth Zoo with my nieces and nephew, my Aunt-and-Uncle-in-law and their son, my sister-in-law, and my darling husband. It should be fun, even if we're leaving at 6 in the morning. Woo!

30-Day Challenge - Day 1

So, I been browsing Pinterest and Google for something to use this blog for, and I've run across this several times. So, I figured, ah what the hell, why not?

So, today is Day 1 of my 30 Day Challenge.
My current relationship is married. I've been married for a year and two (almost two) months to my darling husband, Austin Raymond Thorpe, also known as Jimmy. I adore this man, even if he does upset me from time to time (he's a guy and a husband, so it's bound to happen. No worries, though, I still love him).
Gah... I'll keep working on this as the challenge goes by, work my word magic as I continue and think of more to write about.

30 Day prompt, going to finish it all!

I'm  going to try and keep up with this as much as I can. Even if I don't keep up with it for 30 days in a row, I'll keep going with it, just so I can say I did it. It keeps me and my mind busy, and I love writing. That and it will give this blog a purpose of sorts until I can figure out what exactly I'm doing with this thing. Maybe that's it, I'll just get prompts and write every day that I can and make a schedule for a couple times a week. It'll help me pull out the writer in myself. Awesome. :D
Though, sadly, I'll miss several days on the 14th-17th, due to a trip to Houston for vacation, and then a few weeks from the 22nd to... Well, I don't know when we're getting back and my Blogger app isn't the greatest, but I'll definitely try.