30 Day Challenge - Day 12

Day 12: Bullet your whole day.

Man, I wish this had fallen on a day that I was teaching or something. A Saturday, though? Not much going on here. Here is my day so far:

• 540 am - Took puppies outside. Also let Lady out. Left them out there.
• 936 am - Got up to eat breakfast with family.
• 940-1045 am - Ate breakfast and chatted with family.
• 1050 am-1245 pm - Did a bit of cleaning up- and downstairs. Organized stuff mostly
• 1250-121 pm - Reading Narcissus in Chains by Laurell K. Hamilton

Everything below this line is in no particular order:

• Clean a little more
• Continue reading
• Feed all 8 dogs (4 of which are in search of a good home - the puppies can leave in two weeks)
• Make sure the dogs have water
• Straighten various rooms
• Perhaps shower (dunno 'bout this, not going anywhere and I did shower last night)
• Check email for information about subbing a 100 or more times
• Watch the marathon of "The Simpsons" with my husband (his favorite show)
• Maybe crochet some more Christmas stuff for my Advent Calendar
• Maybe write/work on my novel
• Maybe give puppies a bath

Well, that's about it. Not a whole lot going on today. I did leave off some of the various nit-picky things such as bathroom breaks, brushing teeth, brushing hair, etc. since they don't really need to be added. Fun fun.

Almost half way done with my 30 Day Challenge. Proud of myself that I've kept going even after that ridiculous break there. Oh well, at least I'm working on it!

30 Day Challenge - Day 11

Day 11: Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.

Song 1: Beer in Mexico by Kenny Chesney
Song 2: Ava Maria by Celtic Woman
Song 3:  Sunshine on my Shoulder's by John Denver
Song 4: Animal by Neon Trees
Song 5: Hymn to the Sea by James Horner - I played this song for my aunt and uncle's wedding.
Song 6: What Kinda Gone by Chris Cagle
Song 7: The Lion Sleeps Tonight by InsideOut
Song 8: Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me by Terri Clark
Song 9: The World is Ours by David Correy
Song 10: Cowboy Casanova by Carrie Underwood

Well this was a short post. Not sure what I'm supposed to do with the songs or what they're supposed to mean. I do listen to a wide variety of music, though most of what is on my iPod/iTunes is Country.

Hmm... Feeling a bit lost of words for here. I'm sure tomorrow's prompt will be a bit more exciting. If not, I'll add something for the fun of it.

30 Day Challenge - Day 10

Day 10: Describe your first love and first kiss.

I was in First Grade and he was freakin' adorable! I, as much as a first grader can, loved him with all my heart. His name is Zack Browning, light brown hair, blue eyes, cute little freckles (I think... Long time ago, y'all!), and he was slightly taller than me.

My first kiss was by the same kid, same grade. We met under a wooden jungle gym/fort-thing and he kissed me. We'd been in Kindergarten together and now were in first grade. I think we even did the generic "Check yes if you like me" sorta note, but I couldn't tell you. I remember a lot about that, but not much about my first "relationship". But I digress; we kissed (chaste, kid kiss, like you give to you mom or dad) on the lips, I giggled and we went back to playing.

The worst part about all of that? He left a few days later, think he moved to a different school, but I never heard from him again. My tender 6 year old heart was broken. Even though he left, I never forgot about him (obviously). I often think of him and where he is now. Hope he's doing well.

30 Day Challenge - Day 9

Day 9: How you hope your future will be like. (I'm on a roll!)

I want my future to be happy, filled with laughter, love, and family. I want to be working with kids (High School preferably). I want to be with my husband and maybe a few kids. I want to be surrounded by fur-children. I want to be on a ranch, own a horse or two, and be content with my life. I want to be published, I want to have a least one book under my name (or pen name, either works for me).

There isn't a lot to this one. I don't know what else to say. I just want to be happy. I want to be surrounded by the people I love, by the people who love me, doing what I love. I don't necessarily want things in my future. Yeah, a two-story house with a ton of land would be great, but I don't need those to be happy. I'd be happy in a two bedroom house with a decent yard for at least one dog.

Kids are a touchy topic right now. We have a live-in niece (who is actually moving out) and a niece and nephew who come to visit during the summer and I love them, but, while I know it's different when they're my own, they've sort of ruined having kids of our own for us. At least for a few years until we can settle down and be comfortable with our lives.

I hope my future is happy and bright, simple as that.

30 Day Challenge - Day 8

Day 8: A moment you felt most satisfied with your life.

When I finally graduated college this year, I think that is the moment in my life I was most satisfied. I had finally gotten through six years of classes, teachers, assignments, failures, and bad French. It was over and I could now start on my second path towards becoming a teacher.

I also created my own outfit for that day too, which sounds a tad odd, I guess. I'm not the best with style and body image, so the fact that I threw together a great outfit for my graduation (though it was hidden beneath my gown) was a big moment for me. Something to look forward to when I start teaching.

I know I keep bringing the subject of me graduating up, but it really is a huge milestone in my life. It's not something I thought I was actually going to be able to achieve when I first started back in the Fall of 2008, but I did; I made it all the way through and have that degree in my hand.
Secondly, I am the first, and currently only, one in my family to have actually graduated from a college. Mom and Dad have taken college course and have some college credit (for whatever jobs they've got), but they haven't graduated. In fact, I don't think either of them went to college period. My younger brother was going to go, but then Denton (University of North Texas) screwed him over with "We don't have anywhere for the incoming freshmen to live on campus... Uh, sorry?" {So, if you're reading this and thinking about going to UNT, think real hard about it. A friend of mine went there for a YEAR'S WORTH OF CLASSES and the next Fall they couldn't find record of him attending. Yeah... Two strikes for that crap college.}

So, the most satisfying moment in my life is graduating college and getting my degree. I'm on my way to bigger and better things, y'all!

30 Day Challenge - Day 7

Day 7: Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.

I was born in 1989, so I am the year of the Snake. I don't know which site to take a gander at, so I closed my eyes and chose one. At www.allchinanet.com I found this, so I'm going to base today's response on what can be found in that link.

  

Hmm, "sexy, wise, materialistic personalities". Nope, don't agree with that. I'm not completely materialistic. Yeah, things are nice to have, but I have, on more than one occasion, said that "if it's gone, it's gone." when referring to various lost items (such as all of my stuff that was possibly lost in a storage locker due to lack of fiances to pay for it). Don't consider myself all that sexy either, but on rare occasion, I do feel sexy.
I do agree with the strengths, for the most part, though being in control isn't really my thing. I like to have control, but I don't always want it.
For weaknesses: I am not imperious, mendacious, ostentatious, or conniving. I'm not really a liar, I hate it when others do it, so I try real hard not to. I'm not lazy, so much as just exhausted all the time. I am easily overstressed (refer to anxiety and depression) and I'm not a big lender of money. Not because I'm materialistic, but rather because I've never had a lot of it and I try to save every penny that I can. Not sure I'm overly confident either...

Okay, so back to the original prompt. I only sort of agree with it. I'm probably a mix of a Snake and a Horse (since I was born in December of '89), but who knows. After all, each person is different, and everyone is special.

30 Day Challenge - Day 6

Bright and early for today! (It was 8:45 am when I started this post...)

Day 6: Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.

Hmm, this is going to be an interesting one, mainly because I'm not sure I can come up with 30. I'll try though!

1. I was born at Evans Hospital in Fort Carson, Colorado.
2. I played flute from 6th grade to my senior year.
3. I own a crochet business called Kota's Crochet Creations.
4. I graduated May 10, 2014 from Angelo State University with my BA in English.
5. I was married on May 25, 2013 to my darling husband.
6. I have three fur-"children" whom I love very much: Honey, Charlie, and Lady (all GSDs).
7. I am attending online classes this fall through Texas Teachers to get my teaching certification.
8. Born with blonde hair and blue eyes, I've mellowed out to a dirty blonde with sea-green eyes.
9. I've been working on my novel Always for Eternity for longer than I'd like to admit.
10. I want to visit Europe and even see Alaska (but not live there... Too cold).
11. I am the oldest of two kids, but the shortest in my family.
12. I have a lot of "adopted" family - several moms, dads, and plenty of siblings.
13. I can't eat a lot of food, due to a texture problem (such as lasagna, potato salad, and more).
14. I have psoriasis, but I don't care - it doesn't bother me.
15. Colorado, Wyoming, Louisiana, Washington D.C., New Mexico, Missouri, Oklahoma, Florida, and Kansas are all places I have visited, if briefly.
16. I'm a chocoholic; I constantly crave chocolate and want to eat it all.
17. I haven't really ridden a horse since my accident two summers ago (I was bucked off and twisted my knee something fierce).
18. I still watch "kid shows" like: My Little Pony, Kung Fu Panda, and various other shows (I can't think of any more right now).
19. I will never stop watching Disney, Dream Works, or Pixar movies.
20. I didn't jump on the SuperWhoLock band wagon until the shows were several seasons in. Working on watching all the seasons.
21. I love to read. In fact, I've had to up my Goodreads Challenge from 20 to 40!
22. Speaking of reading, I have a mini library of my own (which my husband is dreading having to move around).
23. I am part of the rare group that doesn't own a Smart Phone. I own several Smart Devices (iPad, iPod), but no Smart Phone.
24. I used to HATE carrying a purse around and only wanted carry a wallet. Sometime in college, I knew I had to carry a purse (plus, I can carry a book all the time with me now).
25. Coloring books are totally awesome. I still get excited about coloring.
26. I've read the Fifty Shades series and laugh when I know it's simply a Twilight fan fiction. Ain't it great?
27. I draw on occasion and have gotten relatively good, though it's more heads than anything.
28. I only like the red and green Haribo Gummy Bears. I'll eat them all, but I only really like the red and green ones.
29. I start subbing soon, hopefully, and I'll be on my way to a teacher within the next year!
30. I have sleeping problems, so most of the time (if I'm not busy), all I want to do is nap all day.

This list took me way longer than I thought it would, but I got it all done! 30 fun facts about me!

If you have any questions, or would like to know more about one of the thirty, feel free to ask. I'd love to answer your questions. :D

30 Day Challenge - Day 5

I'm such a terrible slacker and I know it. It's been nearly a month since I last wrote and that's terrible. I got back from my 3-week vacation and decided that I just didn't want to bother with it. And then that couple of days to myself turned into weeks cleaning and working on our house so that it could be rented out to a brother-in-law by next week and blah blah blah. So, we'll skip all my excuses and move on with the actual challenge for today.

Day 5: A time you thought about ending your own life.

Well, let's talk about a dark topic, shall we?

If I were to be brutally honest... Yes. Multiple times. But, I can't, or won't, take your pick, because I am a coward. I can't even bear the thought of hurting myself on purpose for any reason. It would hurt too much, I can't stand the sight of lots of blood or even talk about it sometimes.

When have I felt these moments? Well, due to my odd mix of anxiety and rare spurts of depression, only on rare occasion when I felt I've done something wrong, when my husband and in-laws fight, when I feel at my lowest (which is actually more often than I'd like to admit), etc. Hmm, maybe I shouldn't say rare occasion. I feel depressed several times a month, though I don't think about ending it unless I've gone down as far as I can go.

Besides being a coward, I don't end it because I actually have a lot I want to do with my life. I want to be an author, I want to teach and inspire kids, I want to ride horses on the beach or on our ranch property, I want to travel the world, so on and so forth. I want to do so much, so I wouldn't end it all before I could do any of those things.

Depression, anxiety, thoughts of suicide aren't things to take lightly. I know I need help and, as soon as I get on some good health insurance and can afford it, I will find a counselor and a doctor who can help me deal with my problems. Yeah, that probably means taking medication, but if it will help me look at my life a little better, than I'm all for it.
So, if someone in your life is experiencing these thoughts, listen to them. Offer help if they want it, but don't force it. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to listen. For me, that's all I need most of the time is a shoulder to cry on and pat me saying, "It'll be alright. I'm here for you."
If you, yourself, are thinking about ending it, find someone to talk to before you go. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a good place to call or chat online. Google it, there are lots of sites that can be helpful. Heck, send me an email and I'd be glad to talk to you, so long as you keep living for something. Every life is precious.

(AFTERTHOUGHT: Robert Williams died of suicide, and I hadn't thought about it until after I finished this.)