Down, but not out

A while back, I posted that I was taking an exam in Del Rio: The English Language Arts and Reading 7-12 TEXES exam. Remember this little rant? Yeah, that mess of a trip.

Well, I got my results back today, in little less than a month. Awesome, right? Well, I'm glad the results got here within a month, but the actual results themselves? Yeah, those are less than satisfying. I needed 240 points for a passing exam score and I, sadly, only made 231.

"Oh, but Julie, that's not so bad. 9 points away, that's good." Yeah, yeah... It's good alright, but that's not what I was expecting at all. My heart fell to through my chest and I spent the better part of an hour crying. I was crying over a stupid test. Ugh, seriously, this depression and anxiety shit can be a real bother. So much so that right now, I can't even talk about the exam without tearing up. Hell, I can't even think about it too much with wanting to break down and cry like my six year old niece does when she's having a tantrum. But I'm better than that, so I try and shove it all away, you know, to be strong and I tell myself that I can take it again in September.

So, another trip to Del Rio (we have a full sized spare for the Mazda, so no worries there), but we're going to make sure there's a jack in the vehicle. Whatever, I'll manage, right?

Well, I might not if I hadn't made a board on Pinterest called "Needing A Little Pick-Me-Up". It's a fantastic board for me to glance at if I'm feeling down about something (such as this exam), or if my anxiety and depression are attempting to get the better of me. It's full of little pictures and sayings that inspire uplifting and happy thoughts.

For example, the one thing I have going through my mind right now is from my beloved board: "Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo." - Jon Sinclair. It's been mighty helpful so far, and it'll probably be my motto for the next day or so while I take time to accept my scores and seek help applying for my online classes. I'll probably sub this coming school year, while I attempt to study and gather my wits, so that I can study and make a bit of money on the side, since my crochething business isn't moving very fast. (Feel free to check that out, by the way.) I may make a few things in Paint Rock colors and see if anyone wants to buy them. (Maroon and white, Indians)

Thanks for dropping by and reading. :D