I Try So Hard

I love my husband to death, I really do, but sometimes he can really make me feel sick to my stomach and want to do terrible things to myself. No, I'm not suicidal; as I explained to him, I'm far too much of a coward actually do anything. That and I'm sort of paranoid of various sharp items and blah blah blah. Basically, I wouldn't cause self harm because I'm unable to do that. (That and blood makes me sick to my stomach, and I either pale so bad that I have to walk away from blood/bloody topic/etc. or I pass out.)

So, that's my issue today. I feel utterly sick to my stomach all because of a particular topic we chatted about. I don't want to go into depth about it because I'm not entirely sure who does or doesn't read this. Yeah, I know, I'm being utterly vague for a blog that's about whatever I want, but I don't need this to work it's way to someone who will spazz out and ruin things for me.

Oh, and our "lovely" niece is back at the house with us. Spoiled rotten and throws fake tantrums just to get a rise/attention out of her grandfather and grandmother. She simply bothers my husband and I because no one will swat her butt when she needs it. Time out doesn't work for her, trust me, they've tried. The real fun thing about all this? Her gorram mother moved into the house that was supposed to be our after graduation, which is another story entirely, but has barely taken care of her six year old daughter. Hell, far as I know, this woman has rarely been in her daughters life more than she has to be. Our niece has been with her father (who doesn't do much on the side of child rearing either, but he's better than mom), or with her grandparents. And that's all I know for the last three years now. What in the world is wrong with this family? No ideal, but I know that I don't want my in-laws to do too much with our children when we have them. They've had several children, but it feels (mostly to me, and this is just my opinion) that they really don't know how to raise a child any more.

Good thing that happened today? I got to help my husband change the oil on our truck. Though, mostly I was the run-around gal. I did do him (and me, I suppose) a favor while he changed the oil, I cleaned almost all of the windows on the little Ranger. The only one I couldn't really get to was the back window on the outside because of the lovely headache rack that we have. Should go run it through a car wash, but since the door is a little wonky and doesn't seal properly. (This is what happens when I leave him alone with a friend of ours to fix the truck. It's okay, I still love him.)

Bleh, enough for now, I suppose. Don't want to bog y'all down with too much mess at first. There's probably plenty more of that to come.